


Truth Hurts

by thehobbitoffire



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, I'm doing it by feel, Kind of angsty, Love Confessions, M/M, Maybe a happy ending?, Pining, Unrequited Love maybe?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehobbitoffire/pseuds/thehobbitoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After much hounding by the company, Bilbo lets something slip. How will Thorin react? Will They still be friends? How much can their friendship withstand?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this was just an idea I had because, honestly, as much as I ship these guys, I feel like all the situations where they both miraculously tell each other they love them are fairly unrealistic. So I'm writing what would happen if it were a more realistic story. They don't fall for each other immediately... and honestly, I'm not sure if they'll end up together in the end. I'm playing this one by ear, and I don't know where it'll take me.

“No. No, I’ll not tell you.” Bilbo stated adamantly. It was what seemed like the eightieth time they’d asked him. For some reason, The Company were dying to know whom Bilbo fancied. They had been begging to know ever since Erebor had been retaken.  
‘Come now,” they had cajoled, “We just want to know.” Kíli had even put on his hurt puppy eyes for Bilbo, which, admittedly, had been hard to refuse. But this time he put his foot down.  
‘Hey, I have an idea!” Kíli announced proudly. “Bilbo, if you won’t just tell us who it is, can we guess? It’ll be like a guessing game!” he grinned, looking entreatingly at Bilbo with his best puppy face.  
“Alright, Alright. You can try.” Bilbo sighed, finally giving in. Dwarves were a persistent lot, and he’d been trying to hold his own against the entire company (except Balin, Dwalin, and Ori, who were too busy at the moment at the gates and massive library of Erebor) all day. Besides, Bilbo thought, they’ll never guess anyway.  
“Does she have dark hair?” Kíli wondered.  
“Is she a hobbit lass?” Gloín wanted to know.  
“Are her eyes dark or light?” Bofur queried.  
“How tall is she?” Piped up Dori.  
“Yes, no, light, tall.” Bilbo replied all in one breath. Deciding that he should at least make it fair – seeing as just because he had had mostly female lovers before didn’t mean he didn’t notice the occasional wonderful man as well – Bilbo added:  
“And who says it is a she? I never mentioned their gender.” The dwarves fell silent for a moment, but soon resumed their game with even greater fervor, were it possible. Armed with this new information, they continued to bombard Bilbo with questions.  
“Is he a dwarf?” Fíli began.  
“Does he have a similar hairstyle to any of us?” Oín bellowed (he couldn’t hear himself otherwise)  
“How often do you see him?” Bombur translated for a frantically signing Bifur.  
“Yes, yes, and fairly often.” Bilbo supplied. The dwarves looked excited, and continued guessing. Bilbo was actually beginning to sweat. They were doing much better than he had expected. Bilbo began to tremble with anxiety. He didn’t like to lie, even in situations such as these. As the hobbit saying went: ‘Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.’ And after having been trapped in a quite real web on their quest, he had no desire to get stuck in one again, be it physical or metaphorical. The company went at it again, their interest peaking.  
“Is it my cousin Orik?” Called out Nori.  
“No.”  
“That dwarf from the iron hills with the silver beads in his beard?”  
“No again.”  
“An assistant at the library?”  
“Nope. Not even close.”  
Stumped, they all stopped guessing for a while. They eventually gave up one by one, and went back to their other conversations, somewhat forgetting about Bilbo  
Then Thorin, in a joking way, said  
“Is it me?”  
Feeling his insides turn to ice, Bilbo slowly nodded, staring resolutely at the floor. How would the dwarf take this revelation? They had become good friends over time, and Bilbo wondered if he’d just condemned their friendship to a premature death. Meanwhile, the entire company remained unaware of what had just transpired.  
When Thorin had still not responded, Bilbo choked out,  
“I’m sorry…” hardly daring to look at his face, terrified of seeing hate or disgust there.  
“No, no, don’t be sorry.” Thorin told him. He took a breath. “Were you serious?” He asked carefully. Bilbo, looking up, met his eyes and gave a tiny nod, wishing that he could just sink through the floor. Thorin’s expression was unreadable, so he raised his eyebrows in question.  
“I- just give me some time to process this.” Said Thorin, looking down.  
“Of course,” Bilbo murmured. He would have given almost anything to know what was going through Thorin’s head right then. Instead, he settled with praying to any deity that could hear him: Don’t let him hate me. Please.  
After what seemed like a million years, Thorin took a deep breath, and said “We can get past this. We can still be friends.” He patted Bilbo on the back. Then he turned and walked out of the room.  
Even with nearly a dozen dwarves still in the room, Bilbo felt more alone than ever.  
***  
Bilbo felt numb. He had finally divulged his big secret, and Thorin had found out at the same time. This wasn’t how he had pictured it going when he had told Thorin. He had imagined something more along the lines of ‘I love you too’ but of course he hadn’t really expected that. He figured that, given the circumstances, it could have been a lot worse. Thorin could have told him to leave right then, or even banished him. He sighed. Worrying wasn’t going to change anything. Still, Bilbo felt as if he should do something to help get things back to normal. Or as normal as it can get. Bilbo knew it was extremely unlikely that they could just pretend it had never happened.  
So, later, he went to visit Dwalin. As Thorin’s best friend and guard, he and Thorin shared everything with each other. Bilbo knew that Thorin would have told Dwalin about the, erm, event at lunch. He went to search for him in the vast halls of the mountain.  
After a long and strenuous search, Bilbo finally found Dwalin up in the west lookout post, far from anyone else. Even though he had been close to Dwalin on the quest, Bilbo hadn’t seen much of him since they reclaimed Erebor, as he was too busy rebuilding and guarding Thorin. Still, they remained fairly close, and Bilbo knew that Dwalin would be able to see both sides of the situation fairly.  
“Dwalin,” Bilbo began, “Thorin told you about – about what happened at lunch today, right?”  
“Aye, lad, that he did.” He nodded. “What can I do for ye?”  
“Well, it’s just… I told Thorin I fancied him, but now I’m afraid that it’s going to be … awkward between us. What if he thinks I only got close to him because I fancied him? What if he refuses to see me again? I mean, either way, Thorin has been a good friend, and I would miss him.”  
“Laddie… Thorin doesn’t want it to get awkward either. He told me himself that he would try his best to not let it. You’ve been a good friend to him, and he knows it.”  
“But, Dwalin, he had such an unreadable expression when I told him! What if he shuts me out for good?” There was a note of panic in Bilbo’s voice.  
“Ach, I reckon he was just surprised when you told him. He wasn’t expecting it, and it’s a lot to take in at once. As for him shutting you out,” Dwalin continued, “I wouldn’t wager on it happening. You mean a lot to him too. Just let him sort things out, and hopefully things will get back to normal soon.”  
Bilbo nodded, and crept off to bed without dinner. He just didn’t have any room for food thanks to the writhing ball of anxiety in his stomach that had resided there since his confession. When he got to his rooms, he flopped down on his bed, eventually falling into a troubled sleep after his tiring day.  
***  
The next morning, Bilbo woke up, feeling somewhat relaxed. He knew something was wrong, but it took him a minute to remember. Thorin. He sighed, feeling a pang as he recalled Thorin’s unreadable expression the day before. Lying in bed for just another moment, he swung his feet over the edge and got up. If he wanted to get to breakfast before Thorin, he’d have to hurry.  
When he got to the kitchens, only Bombur and Ori were there. Bombur was cooking, and Ori sat nearby on a stool. Bilbo nabbed some toast, then went over to join him. They ate in complacent silence for a while, until Bilbo remembered that his best friend didn’t know about what had happened. Bilbo decided that Ori should know, since he was his best friend. They, like Thorin and Dwalin, didn’t keep things from each other. Mustering his resolve, Bilbo took a deep breath and began.  
“So, uh, Ori, when I got to lunch yesterday with the company, they were all asking me who I fancied.”  
“Oooh, who is it, Bilbo?”  
“It – well –let me just continue. I wouldn’t tell them, so Kíli suggested a guessing game. They were all guessing, and they couldn’t figure it out, so they gave up. They all started talking again, except for Thorin. And he - he asked me if it was him, and, well, it was and I didn’t deny it, and now things are all weird and he might hate me and – oh! I just don’t know what to do.” Bilbo ended with a distressed noise, covering his face.  
Ori smiled gently at Bilbo. “You know, that’s really adorable.” Bilbo gave him a despairing look.  
“Sorry. It is.” Ori continued. “But the thing about dwarves is that we always do our best not to make things awkward when things like this happen. I don’t know much about hobbits, but I suspect it’ll be easier than if you had confessed to one of them. I’ll do my best to keep an eye on Thorin when I see him.” He said, getting up. “I need to go now though, Balin wants me in the library soon. Good luck.” AS Ori left, Bilbo remained motionless in his chair, thinking about what he had said.  
“Um, hello, Bilbo.” Bilbo nearly jumped three feet out of his chair. Thorin stood at the kitchen doorway, having just walked in after Ori left. Bilbo bit his lip. It was obvious that Thorin was pretending nothing had happened. For the time being, Bilbo just decided to play along.  
“Ah, good morning, Thorin. I was just talking to Ori.”  
“How was breakfast?” Thorin was slightly too cheerful, Bilbo could tell it was forced.  
“Oh, very good, I was just finishing up.” On those words, he rose, put his dishes away, and made his way to the door. “See you around.” Bilbo slipped out the door and around the corner, and let out the breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. He felt slightly cheered that Thorin had at least made an attempt at normalcy, and went to the library to find a good book. He gave Ori a thumbs up on the way in, and the dwarf nodded in understanding. Thorin didn’t hate him, and that was one thing to be thankful for.  
***  
At lunch, Bilbo found himself having to revise his perception of the situation. He had gotten there late, since Ori had asked him to deliver some paperwork to Balin, and when he finally arrived, his usual seat, at Thorin’s right, had been filled by Kíli. Trying not to feel hurt(and ultimately failing just a little), Bilbo sat near the other end of the table, by Bifur and Bofur. He soon busied himself with helping Bofur with Sindarin, which Thorin (at Kíli’s urging) had decided they should each attempt to learn some of to help the strained relations with the elves. Bilbo had an affinity for languages, and had picked it up fastest, becoming the unofficial tutor for the rest of the company. Still, he felt a little pang when he thought of when it had been Thorin he helped with Sindarin, instead of Bofur. He missed him. When Bofur was finally satisfied with his help, he moved to go talk to Oín and Gloín (he didn’t move there because it was closer to Thorin. Definitely not.) Still, Thorin barely said anything to Bilbo at lunch, perhaps because he, like Bilbo, couldn’t help remembering what had happened there yesterday.  
Bilbo left lunch with a heavy heart, and went about his work for the rest of the day, carefully avoiding Thorin, except for one instance in which he walked by him, pretending not to notice him, to see if he would try to talk to him again. His heart leapt when he heard footsteps behind him, but then sank again when he saw it was just Nori asking about a piece of writing in Sindarin. He did his best to keep Thorin off his mid for the rest of the day.


End file.
